my ultimate goal is to be at peace with myself, eliminate toxic feelings and elements and energies from my life, unlearn negative and harmful practices and thought patterns, stop checking for people that don’t check for me, create a space for myself that is nurturing for growth so that i may generate loving energy for myself and for others, nourish my spirit and balance my energies, i have big dreams and i deserve to live a life i love and let that love radiate. Yet the actions that i am choosing to do now are completely opposite of this. I just some how seem to make it worse, i don’t try to, my intentions are actually really good, just yet i have horrible judgement. I still care about people who treat me like shit. I need help, i need a new life, i need to run away, i need hope.……….. I need a new dream to replace all the ones that have died within my horrible wretched creil mind.